never.ending.love.for.you_____x.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

ghost death life

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hmm.. some tots for the day... today went to pray my grandparents.. haha found it such a funny business... so many fams.. so many 'styles' of praying.. so whos correct?? and all this biz of paying respects to our departed ancestors.. where actually are they now?? heaven?? hell?? limbo?? haha i really dun know...why do humans have ghost?? why was the concept created?? ok.. im not making myself clear.. i mean.. organisms live and die...why do we think tat theres an afterlife?? a possibilty to come back and live again? coz we cant let go of the possessions we have??

hmm.. i think tats the reason..of coz i cant be sure..i myself dun want my death to be the end of me.. haha...tat after my death .. i can be free of worldly worries.. and 'live' happppyy!! ..haha but it begs the question of increasing world population...where are all the extra 'souls' for reincarnation coming from?? parallel universe?? dun laugh! im serious... im not discarding the idea of afterlife.. or reincarnation.. just dun understand it..

but back to the topic of ghosts.. haha i think its predominantly because of human guilty conscience.. our actions coming back to haunt us!! think abt it.. this must have started back when we were still primates in africa... as to result tat even as children.. we are afraid of shadows... this guilt is ingrained in us! hmm.. so.. are we born innocent?? or are we somehow carrying our primate guilt??

well...then abt life.. haha it seems pointless sometimes no? we are born... spend the good part of our youth in sch.. then our prime years slogging away...everyday wake up.. go sch or work..then go home.. to a cold and unfeeling house (note: its not home).. HA! P A T H E T I C !.. who can truly say they enjoy being at home? like i said before.. no one truly cares for any one else.. whos truly altruistic?! who truly helps another being out of selfless actions?? out of care?? with no trace of self-interests?? anyway.. after all these, then we die in the end? HA! is this some cosmic joke??

haiz.. its so lonely...haha sian right??

s t i l l . l o v i n g . y o u
9:46 PM

days had passed
hours had slipped away
every second seems like an agony for me
since the day you left.

your face
your smile
your care
and your everything
keep flowing through in my mind.

i think of
the moments we shared
the days we spent together
the sweet memories we had.

i wish we can be like before
i will be waiting for you
right here waiting for you.

____________

lenard`
______heart to heart talk______


me_______
l e n a r d
t w e n t y - t w o
21 01 83.
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